Birthright
by Hereticfound
Summary: In a post third impact world, the two greatest minds of the times battle for the fate of mankind: a reluctant new God, and a deluded visionary. First fanfic! Pls. R & R!
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Ok, this is the first time I'm doing this, and I'm going to try to keep this from becoming a Mary-Sue blood-bath so bear with me! Especially second chapter. Reviews will be appreciated!

I know the lyrics of the opening theme. The chapter titles are just my own perverted form of them...

This is going to take us past third impact. In fact, it's going to skip everything up to that point, so just assume everything followed the anime up to the end of End of EVA. It'll also skip from past to present and back too, and the past is just to introduce the new character so if you want to skip it, whatever. I'm sure about everything except the third impact dates.

Once again dates might be incorrect. Please tell me the corrections if known

Now, I must find my angsty center... [Sits in lotus position oohhhmmmmnnnnn... Suddenly black emo-hair grows out of the authors head!

I'm ready.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Ch 1: Young boy, your legend has invoked an angel's cruelty.

**January 2016**

**Remnants of Tokyo-3, Shore of the Sea of LCL**

_Why... Why me...Why YOU? _

On a beach, a lone boy of nearly fifteen years straddled a nubile red-head with a bandaged left eye, and a bandaged right arm. He smelled like blood. She smelled like, nothing. He was dressed in the clothes of a student, she in the red suit of the greatest warriors of the time.

The moment was the pinnacle of human instrumentality. Having failed to become a god, the spawn of the Adam and Lilith was reduced to this; a floating pile of primordial soup, a broken teenage girl, and a shattered teenage boy. Yahweh had left His flock in disgust, uttering His farewell message to an adolescent through the lips of a girl who had been raped, violated, and eaten, and still wasn't granted the peace of death or the mercy of the rest of her race. All of which totaled one.

"How disgusting."

In his place, He left demented a man-child who epitomized the choice of his children.

God was in his heaven, all was right with the world.

The absolute law of the universe dictated that all things that have must come to an end. A universe created by the Alpha and Omega. One, that had millions of other types of beings that all deserved his attention more than the orange fluid that filled the horizon, more than the giant, broken body of a girl who was only one of two without sin in the world. For their virtue, they had been punished. The first lost a son to save a world of unworthy; the other lost herself, her one chance at happiness, and the very humanity she was trying so hard to protect.

Man didn't care for either sacrifice. They didn't need them.

Now, abandoned by that which gave them life, Man had no reason to fear his laws. For Mankind there should have only been one law of the universe now.

Survive.

And still; forsaken by the one thing that protected them, with their population reduced to a lonely couple on a lonely beach, with their savior in pieces scattered across their home like a bleeding porcelain doll, and with all the forces of nature in their almighty fury now arrayed against them, they still sought to kill each other.

Humanity at its greatest.

Hence, Shinji Ikari wiped his eyes and proceeded to choke the only hope for the continuation of his race. Fittingly, the new god of mankind thought nothing of this, only of the one of the most basic of human emotions: revenge.

_YOU! It was your entire fault! YOU drove me insane, YOU betrayed me, YOU made me hate myself! YOU...YOU...YOU!!!_

_I came back because of you..._

_I loved you. _

_I loved him._

_I loved her. I lost her, and came to you; and you said nothing, did nothing. I tried to speak with you; I gave what you wanted, my attraction was all too easy, and I know you saw. _

Gendo's son thought back to his visit to the hospital. It was there that everything went to hell. He had been broken by Ayanami, and shattered by Kawrou. He had held himself together only by his lingering love and regret for the former, and by his respect and care for the latter.

But when he saw that his tree, his castle, his Zion had crumbled; he fell apart. Only then had he failed. Not duty, nor honor, nor even love was able to withstand that final blow. Thus, Shinji Ikari the boy died, and Shinji Ikari the man was born. But, forged in the fire of self-loathing, the sword had come out bent, broken, and gnarled. The savior of Earth, hero of the ostracized, the future god of man had given into his lust and for that moment, tore himself from his patronage; humanity.

_And still you did nothing... and because you did nothing, I let THIS happen. Disgust? That's all you feel? _

"Damn straight." He muttered.

Shinji began to squeeze. With a very human cry, and tears that were even more so, Shinji Ikari accepted the changing of the guard and killed Asuka Langley Soryu. For the first time Shinji stared into the eyes of something that he killed. They matched his own.

He carried the lifeless body to a broken building that formed a ledge that pointed over the sea, and dropped the body into the sea. It floated for a moment, and then sunk back into the liquid. Shinji looked at the disappearing wake for only one moment, and then looked out to the bleak horizon. Rei, no Lilith's head stared back at him, a smile plastered on her face. There were massive Eva-like beings skewered on giant sticks lodged in the sea bed. He could still see them. Shinji was reminded of the Christian Crucifix. He cocked his head and snorted, a haunted look in his eyes. He knew that others would return, though when, he did not know. Nor, did he care.

Lilith's face split in half again, and this time a scream issued from the gap. But it wasn't the scream of third impact. The scream sounded familiar, though Shinji had never heard in his life, it clutched at his heart. The scream wasn't a shrill vocalization; instead, it was the said sound of a girl crying out in pain. The sound of innocence suffering, the voice belonged someone close, unknowingly close.

"Ayanami-Chan..." Shinji whispered the last syllable like a child trying out his first nickname by himself, shyly liking the sound, but afraid others would hear how much he liked it. He had had his wish fulfilled; to speak with her one last time, and all he had done was yell at her, then he reasoned with her, but never _talked _to her. She had shown him himself and he didn't like what he saw. Her lap had been so soft...

Regret filled him; that he never got to call her that. That he never got to return the favor of "Ikari-kun".And suddenly, the tears that hadn't come for three days spilled out. The grief was like nothing Shinji had experienced. It brought him together, and broke him again. So powerful were the shudders through his body; that his knees gave out and he was brought down on all fours. Like a worshiper at a temple, the first one, the new God was humbled before yet another human emotion.

And through all the mind numbing grief finally being expressed, Shinji Ikari found that he was enjoying it. The tears felt like a shower, with each shudder, each wracking sob he felt a little cleaner despite the LCL matted on his hair and clothes. And soon, laughs mixed with the sobs with more of the latter. It was sickening, yet calming thing at the same time. Pure, but wrong.

It was then, that he finally understood. In his grief induced stupor, he managed to form a coherent thought.

_Thank you, Rei Ayanami, thank you for showing me myself, for showing me the truth. I understand now. My choices are my own. I must live with them. It's a pity it all came too late. It's a pity I had to destroy mankind to see it. I wish I could see you again. _

Auska had been a crutch up until this point. But she had helped him none the less. And like Rei, he had cruelly tossed her aside.

He cried/laughed until his arms gave out, he didn't even try to cushion the blow of his face against the concrete, he just cried more, until the tears formed a stream across the smooth wall. He cried until he passed out from exhaustion.

In his unconscious mind, an image of him standing and Asuka sitting side by side on the shore looking at Lilith's sinking face flashed.

_Maybe I should try and find her body._

**The heart of Lilith**

In her mind's eye, Rei saw everything. She was naked, bathed in celestial brightness. She simply floated in the light. She looked at the source of the light above her, and a scowl crossed her face, but she hid it before anyone saw. Not that there was anyone to see it.

Not that she could hid it from those that lived here.

Underneath her, were many bright balls of light with trails floating behind them. They looked like schools of fish she thought, or more like sperm. Like life ready to take root. The souls of mankind began to make their choices. Rei Ayanami was stuck with guide duty.

She placed her hand at her heart, as if trying to feel the muscle itself.

_Our connection is still strong... and all that has come of it is pain. Ikari-kun is broken, yet I do not know why. I find I do not know many things lately. Why is he so saddened? Has he not received that of which he desires? Why am I so saddened? Have we not given to humanity what they desired?_

_Ikari-kun... Why do I call him by the familiar? I cannot remember. Why do I feel attached to him? To one who can never return the sentiment? Is it not the basic instinct of life to protect one's self from harm?_

"No..." she whispered to herself.

_He is saddened because he now bears the burden of humanity's sadness. He chose for them, not for himself. His desire was to give them theirs, not his own. Then why did he not choose instrumentality? Because he loved them, he loved them so much that he knew it would be and affront to their soul, to the mother herself if kept in such a... artificial state of being. _

_Yes, that is the term, artificial. For all its peace and unity instrumentality is simply that... artificial. It is an artificial sentiment of good-will, created by man; trying to become an artificial God._

_And that is why I am so saddened; because I am the arch-angel of that artificiality. I am an artificial human, carrying the dreams of my creators, and none of my own. Now that Ikari-kun has crushed those dreams, what do I have left?_

_Nothing._

_I have nothing._

_I exist with no purpose, and therefore have no reason to exist at all. But I am trapped. I am trapped and he is broken. We shall have no rest._

Rei began to shed tears. No sobbing, nothing to give of the notion that she was crying, not even on her face; just flowing tears.In fact, the angel didn't even notice them.

A tear fell into the mass of souls under her. Their actions became frenzied.

A/N: Ramble time! OK, now you're probably all wondering: what's with the "new god of humanity" stuff? Well the way I see it, God had abandoned man, or at least stopped caring, after second impact. The shift has gone from interloper, to judge when dead. Other than that, it's "let the idiots down there do what they want, and let them pay hell once they get up here." In other words, the philosophy has gone from all things happen for a reason to, the universe is against us; we're on our own, yada, yada, yada.

Shinji decided to reject the new state of being that was presented to mankind, therefore it's now his responsibility to guide the world. Once folks start coming back, (namely the kids) he will share the responsibility a little, but the burden will still be too much for them to bear. That's where all the angst and drama and all that goodness comes into play.

The image in Shinji's mind was just a nod toward the cover-art on one of the boxes of the movie; it has nothing to do with the plot.

Please, please Read and Review! Even failure's not worse than abandonment! On that note, I'm looking for a pre-reader too.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: And still I push on. For you Asuka fans, bear with me. Things are not as they seem! Remember all that Mary-Sue stuff I told you before? Yeah, here it comes...

Once again dates might be incorrect. Please tell me the corrections if known

Gulp! OK, steel yourselves folks, this might get ugly...

Ch 2: Your smile- a grimace

**December, 1999 **

**Jericho, West bank, **

"Mmmphh..." the young woman moaned.

Her lithe body molded against the man's. Supple against stiff, smooth against rough, lust against need, the two bodies intertwined. Convulsing in the throes of sex, they rolled together, the smell of their intercourse and alcohol overpowering the smell of musk in the dingy one-room apartment where they had agreed to meet.

Warmth against mechanical cold.

Even in the heat of passion, Keel's mechanical body (at least the neck down) would not become warm enough to be comfortable to his partner. Not that it mattered. Being comfortable wasn't part of the job description. She was supposed to provide it, not receive. It was to be expected, as she hadn't been getting many "fringe benefits" lately.

Holy. They all believed they were ordained by a higher power to do some supernatural bidding. But they were still men. Still, this was nothing and soon they would be tainted with a different kind of sin. They were important men. Like all important men, they had secrets.

She was one of them.

They had no idea that they were all "clients" of the same person. If they had known, it might have been different, if only to protect their "image". To whom? They all held power, but few had ever seen their faces. They could deny it at any moment. Have her killed, and no one would ask questions. No one ever did, that's how they had stayed alive, and more importantly, in control for the past sixty-six years. And besides, why ask questions? The motto of the employees was "All you needed was faith".

After all, they were important men.

They were beginning to pull out soon, the men and their puppets had been here for a long time. Digging here, poking there, they never made a mess of things. Always quiet, never making a sound, until one day, the bulldozers no one knew existed left. The towns dried up, and only a few were left to clean up the remains.

Keel was one of them. Underneath the pious persona was the ego of a man who liked to get his hands dirty from time to time. Now, there was minimal risk, and therefore the perfect time to indulge had presented itself. Just a quick visit, much akin to a smoker taking one last drag before quitting.

**The Next Morning.**

The sun shone through the windows, and light was slightly colored by the grime that incrusted them.

"Good morning", whispered Abrienda in a thick accent.

The man to her left just grunted and turned away, back facing her. She usually just left her clients alone when she woke up, quietly slipping her clothes on and leaving. She always demanded payment before transactions. This time though, she didn't know what got into her. She just had an inexplicable feeling about this man, or machine, or what ever he was. He was a cyborg, which still amazed the prostitute. She wasn't well educated, but she knew that such technology had to be years ahead of the times.

When asked about the subject, he had told her that it was just a prototype, and in the coming future he planed to upgrade to the real thing, once the final measures were completed. He hadn't bothered to tell her the origin of his injuries, and even while half-drunk, proceeded to thoroughly confuse the girl by explaining the technical know-how of his devices with the oblivious delight of a nerd explaining why his paladin was the best to a confused parent.

After seeing the confused look on her face, he just laughed and they moved on to the business at hand. Straight. She followed willingly, expecting not to be disappointed for once. She had been wrong, as usual. He had been rough, cold and uncaring. With the inexperience of one was no virgin, but who had never given thought to his partner. Still she had a feeling; she would see more of him. This time she was right.

**Two weeks later.**

"Uuugggghh!" She gagged, as she got up out of the bed, stumbled and ran into the bathroom.

She he them proceeded to puke violently into the toilet against the wall. Colors of green, yellow, and orange mixed with clear spit flowed from her mouth.

Keel Lorenz sat up instantly, and looked at the girl bent over the toilet.

_Vomit, _his sleepy mind registered. '_Why is she vomiting? Morning sickness?_ _No. We were careful, right?' _He leap over to the trash can by the bed, and checked the used condom. No leaks or breaks were visible. He then walked over to her, face still buried in the toilet bowl. He pulled the hair out of her face and rubbed her back. '_Obviously not' _he mused.

After she was done, he wiped her mouth and sat her on the bed. Compassion wasn't foreign to Lorenz. After all, it was the very sentiment that _had_ motivated Keel in the beginning. Neither was fear. She began to cry.

"How did this happen? We used a contraceptive every time, and when we didn't, you said you were safe! " He asked in fluent Arabic. The panic was not well hidden.

"It's alright, I'll drop you off at the clinic and-"

_Drop you off._

He would never allow himself to be shamed with her. That was for those who were in love, not infatuation.

"No." she whispered. "Not murder."

Why couldn't she do it? She was a prostitute, for God's sake! But _he_ had changed her. Being in the first monogamous relationship, in a long, long time and been to her soul like water to a dirty glass, much cleaner, but not free of stain. She'd even started going back to services in the short time they'd been together. Nevertheless, she knew him to well. She knew what was coming.

Keel looked at her oddly. Then he looked at his watch. He didn't have time to argue. This was supposed to be good bye for a little while. No it was beginning to look like forever. A family wouldn't be beneficial to the journey, or more importantly the preparation. Still, he couldn't let this be known, and couldn't bring himself to eliminate the threat. He would have to leave her. Them.

But, Keel Lorenz showed no sadness. No regret. That emotion was impossible when coupled the knowledge that Keel possessed. All that appeared was a slight annoyance with the new pothole that had appeared on his road to paradise. Any feeling he had to the girl was replaced with disappointment that his one recluse from the taxation of his mission was gone.

"Very well" he said quietly. "I will send money." Although it wouldn't matter in the long run, fifteen years was still a long time to suffer. With that he dressed quietly, and left the room. All the while, the girl sat sobbing on the bed.

**August, 2000**

**Bethlehem, West Bank**

Keel Lorenz was no liar. But Abrienda had expected nothing from him, and so she had boarded a train in the freight section and ridden until she was discovered. When found, the conductor simply kicked her off at what ever town they were in at the time. This happening to be Bethlehem.

She had nowhere to go, and obviously her former line of work was out of the question, so she had simply used the last of her checks to find a small apartment, and began a meager living as a launderer at a local Laundromat business. All the while, her belly and worries grew.

Then the checks came. No letters checking up on her, or even small talk. The only print was on the front of the envelope- a crisp, white envelope with a strange marking of a triangle, seven eyes and a snake around an apple. How he had found her, she never knew. Yet one thing was certain, she wouldn't have to work anymore. She didn't quit her job though. By the time the checks began to arrive, the knowledge of abandonment had sunk in, and she had slipped into depression. So, the checks stayed piled up by the door. Only the first few envelopes were opened, the rest lay discarded haphazardly around the dingy apartment. Abrienda just wanted to have this baby, and then rest. Maybe forever.

**September 12, 2000**

The girl had fainted. She didn't wake up. A C-section was performed and the child, a boy, was removed without further incident. With the mother dead, and no kin to be found, the child was declared a ward of the state, and arrangements were made for the child to go to an orphanage.

As the two young interns drove in the white sedan, the passenger holding the child looked down at him. A normal child, really. He had a small, brown pudgy baby face, framed with black locks small baby feat, and small baby hands that had a fondness for grabbing things and not letting go. A bunch of common features to the region, much like his sadly common birth. He was almost completely unremarkable.

Almost.

His eyelids, snapped tight in slumber, hid two dark eyes. The color not uncommon in the region, it was the shade that was so remarkable. In reality the eyes were not brown at all.

They were black, jet black. Aniridia, very uncommon in the middle east, had afflicted this one.

But this was Bethlehem, and in the middle of an ongoing conflict, such oddities had to be put aside for a later study that would probably never come. Thus, he was given unceremoniously to the caretaker, not even a name was given, and left in the nursery section of the building.

**September 13, 2000 **

**3 hours after impact.**

...reports are sketchy, it seems as though a nuclear strike has been launched at the South Pole for some reason...

...the impact has caused tsunamis and earthquakes across the southern hemisphere...

...death toll in the billions, casualties have yet to be counted...

...Antarctic treaty violated...

...Reports of a being of white light...

...United States is blaming Japan for the incident...

...Japan has been excluded from both NATO and UN talks so far...

...Breaking news, it seems that both sides were mistaken...

...Giant meteor...

Confusion. Panic. The dynamic duo of emotions that motivated some humanities biggest mistakes reigned supreme. For the next week while the orphanage staff sat glued to the television listening to reports of tsunamis, death tolls in the millions, and the human notions of killing one another that inevitably intensified when faced with a large crisis without a strong leader; the infant lay still in his crib. Aside from being fed and diapers changed, he was thoroughly neglected for the first week. As if the children could sense something was wrong, they cried unceasingly

And so the child did too. They others were disturbing his sleep. The nerve! Slowly, he began to ignore there suffering, and his crying ceased. He began to simply lie still and grab at imaginary things as babies will do. The other children, even the not-so-young ones that could possess a sentient thought continued to cry. The boy just slept.

Until the halogen light above him was poked lose by the author. It fell on him and he died.

A/N. Bet you didn't see that coming! Or maybe you did. The overwhelming Sue...ness has hit me. Either way you're probably extremely glad, relieved, pissed and won't come back to this story, or (God forbid!) disappointed that he's dead. Also it's obvious that Keel doesn't know how morning sickness works ha ha!

Even with the Sue-ness, do you think the story would be good? If you folks think that he should live tell me so in the review!

Whatever... I think I just killed my plot. Now this story's beginning to smell like death...

Read and Review Please! I'm looking still for a pre-reader too.

Most likely I'll bring Keel Jr. back and/or just delete all that stuff depending on your reviews! I intend for him to become the new villain though.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: OK he's back; let's see what we can do... Really, I would have switched Ch: 1 and Ch: 2 around, but I don't want to lose interest in the story.

Also, I kind of tweaked some stuff in the universe; I had the combined force of both the UN and the JSSDF attack NERV.

As I bet you few people who read my-craptastic work can see, I'm taking my time with the plot. Yes, yes I am. Very much so.

Oh yeah, "The Heart of Lilith" isn't meant to be taken literally, I actually think it should have been melted into LCL by then. I just didn't know what to call the place where all the souls that were emerging from instrumentality would be.

Enjoy. Or don't. Either way, review it!

I don't own Evangelion, or anything else cool.

As for the names: don't feel insulted if one of those belongs to you. Just... cope or something. Kidding of course.

Ch 3: Your childish eyes, denounce your destiny 

**September 20, 2000**

**Bethlehem, West Bank**

At 3 am in the morning, there was a knock on the door. The head care-taker rushed to open it, and was greeted by three unusually tall Japanese men, all dressed in black suits, and one Israeli solider. They all had the air of tremendous self-importance that only came from being entrusted with an important task that their peers knew nothing of.

The solider spoke first in a gruff voice. "Excuse me; these men are with the UN." He glanced back and the three Japanese nodded their heads. "We're inquiring about a child that was dropped of here, exactly one week ago. Do you know anything about this child?"

Japanese and Israeli, not a good combination for the Palestinian man, plus with black suits? And from the UN to top it off? Very suspicious, especially with the crisis and all. Best to just give them what they want and hope they go away.

"Well, there was one kid, a baby boy, what to do want to know about him?" he asked apprehensively.

"We've come to take him." the Japanese man replied in surprisingly good Arabic.

This was a ward of the state, and the care-taker at the door was pretty sure that that was against the law. Yet he wanted this to be over quickly, so he gave them the child, along with his possessions, which totaled of one blanket.

"What's his name?" One man asked.

"Heh, we uh, well we haven't really named him anything yet." The man said sheepishly.

The Israeli cocked and eyebrow at him. The Japanese men just nodded, took the baby and turned towards the car without another word.

"So, uh, what are we going to call him?" asked the largest of the three men. They were alone, driving in a car over to the house of a loyal UN representative, and more importantly, one of SEELE's many agents within the UN.

"I dunno, does it matter?" One said.

The one in the passenger seat started to giggle. With their brother agents, the masks came off.

"Let's call him Clarence!" He sputtered in his laughter.

"Who the hell names their kid Clarence? You're such a fruit."

"Sheppard?"

"That is the single gayest name I have ever heard. You don't get to talk anymore."

"Maurice?"

The other two laughed, they knew that their charge was important, but how so was lost upon them.

"Really though, we gotta name it." The driver and most levelheaded of the three said. The three men grew quite in thought.

"Ushio. It's the name of a famous WWII ship."

"What? That's baka."

"Nah man, it's unique, distinguished."

"Whatever, he'll just get the last name of his guardian right?"

"Right." The other two answered in unison.

The rest of the way they joked around about names, complained about the heat, and theorized about the Antarctic incident. But never once did they question why the child was so special. That was to close to questioning orders. That was something no one did; especially those who knew about SEELE. All the while the child made no noise, just observed.

**Same day**

**Tel Aviv, Israel**

One they arrived at the mansion of the officer, the masks and the gruff personas slipped on without a word they handed the newly christened Ushio to the servant of the representative. Unlike the agents, the representative knew everything about the child, except the circumstances of his conception; therefore his last name remained Lorenz.

Thus, the life of Ushio Lorenz began. Circumcised and raised Jewish, he was ostracized by his peers for his name. But, despite being born into the greatest period of turmoil in man's history, and the final decades of his present existence, Ushio lead the life of the son of an aristocrat. Military studies at school in the morning and afternoon; limo rides to fencing, Haganah, and marksmen classes from Israel's greatest teachers in the evening. The pieces of a broken world were handed to him on a silver platter.

Even though the Valentine treaty ended the major wars after second impact, the creases and crinkles that always formed when smoothing one area of the world formed in other places. Unsurprisingly, the Middle East was one of those places. Military buildup continued despite the treaties and as usual, much of it found its way into the hands of the Promised Land's enemies; either given through allies of old adversaries, or produced by the growing powers of the area themselves. But this time around the former world police had to lick her own wounds and quell her own rebellions and the nation of Israel was left to fend for itself. Consequently; when the call to arms came, and the Israeli draft was lowered to thirteen, not even a prince was spared the hand all-consuming hand of war. The military beat the snobbishness out of him and, even as a grunt, taught him the value of a sharp and cunning mind.

That cunning mind would soon earn him a place among the elite.

**2013**

**Middle East conflict zones**

Soon he was pushed to the front lines, along with boys and girls and men and women of all ages to fight against those in the same predicament. And all of it was accepted as a consequence of the times. Former lives were abandoned as soon existence became one mission or conflict after the other. For the next two and a half years, the faces of the enemy changed, from brown surrounded by desert camouflage, to pale white with the same garb. Sometimes he wore a light blue armband, sometimes they did, and sometimes they both did.

And man proved his idiocy once more as he continued to destroy himself and ignore the silent pleas of the those who defended the planet from the kin that had as much of a birthright to it as they did.

The world dragged itself into darkness; and the greatest suffering of all, borne by three children of an island nation that was hailed as a pariah was lost on the grinding and gnashing teeth and pain of what was left of Lilith's children, as was their heroism. Diluted and filtered stories were drowned out by the cries, laments, and death groans of a lost age and innocence.

Man was ready for a change.

**December 31, 2015**

**Tokyo-2, Nagano prefecture, Japan**

**1400 hrs**

_The eighteenth angel turned the target of her blood-lust from her entire body to that of her right hand. With war, her hacksaw; and ignorance, her scalpel, she began the amputation of her fist. She yelled in agony, yet she continued in her stubbornness. For once she had committed to something; she would not stop to see the harm she caused until it was too late. The deal had been cut; the souls of the heroes of man, for godhood._

_The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth. _

The UN forces had already assigned the JSSDF to start a vanguard attack on the Geofront, which was being carried out at the very moment. SEELE had still expected heavy losses though, and so the entirety of the UN forces which included an Israeli contingent were headed to Tokyo-3 at the very moment. Riding in Humvees, helicopters, planes and boats the battle-numb soldiers of the world converged like so many army-ants on the city.

Ushio pushed his purple beret closer to his shaved head and gripped the handle bars of the Humvee. Everyone in the convoy had their attention focused on the nine gigantic white monsters circling an equally large purple one.

The Evangelions.

Even the mission specs hadn't braced the soldiers for this. It was just too cool. And weird. Their were all kinds of signs and runes floating around them. Although it was too far away to even be seen with binoculars, it looked like the giant white monsters were ripping at some sort of wings on the purple one.

The corporal's comlink buzzed. "Cactus battalion; 23rd company, this is your first primary objective. You are to rally at the southern-most entry point to the target. There, you will enga- what the hell? Get that girl out of here!" The soldiers in the transport heard the rat-tat-tat of gun shots over the comm. They were followed by the sound of liquid hitting a solid surface. Then the device went silent. The passengers exchanged looks of confusion.

Ushio was one mile outside the city when his squad felt the scream heard 'round the world. Then all hell broke loose. Men and boys, women and girls all dressed to kill, rolled of their benches together. Some were screaming like babies, some began to shoot into the sky at nothing; some began to shoot each other. Many began laughing and running into the thin air trying to hug some unseen lover. Most just sat and cried, the women holding the children, the men holding anyone at arms length.

Then he saw her. A teenage girl with plain features and porcelain skin; her most unusual feature was not her red eyes, no, Ushio could look past that. It was her hair. Blue; and it looked completely natural. She smiled and held her hands out at him.

Ushio began to shake, all around him his friends began to explode into some sort of orange goop, their ordnance and battle amour left behind in the puddle. The girl cocked her head and laughed, holding her arms wider. Something felt so wrong about it all. He stumbled, fell backwards and began to cry.

There was an ethereal beauty about the child. Her pale skin gave her a sort of perfection that did not lend itself to beauty in his eyes. As he backed away rabidly, she began to float toward him with an otherworldly smile on her face. As she came within touching distance, Ushio found himself unable to move. Her hands felt like rushing wind more than anything on his cheeks.

An overwhelming, unnatural sense of unity was the last thing he felt. And he hated all three seconds of it.

**January, 2, 2016**

**The Heart of Lilith**

Rei watched the frenzied souls with growing interest. At first they had simply swam in a large circle around the fallen teardrop. Like a large school of fish. Then they had harried as if an electrical current had gone though each of them. They began swimming against some sort of invisible physical barrier until finally, it shattered and broke. Then they all froze in place.

Rei floated down to the bright balls of light. None moved. She touched one. It screamed and suddenly, the mass of souls exploded as they swam away in random different directions, only to disappear as they moved further away from the nexus. Rei was swamped by them. She instinctively held her hands above her face. But like water to an electrified comb, they simply molded to her presence and swam around her. Many came close enough for the girl to feel some sort of breeze pass her, and to hear whisperings in many languages she didn't understand. She opened her eyes to see the last of them vanishing in the distance.

She floated over to the tear still held in place, shaped like it was affected by some non-existent gravity. As she reached out to touch the tear, she felt a familiar presence. The smell of certain cologne filled her nostrils. It smelled like the Commander. Suddenly fear like that felt by a child caught doing something wrong filled her body.

The same fear she had felt just before she had betrayed him.

A glint of light in the already bright dimension caught the corner of the First Child's eye. When she spun around to try and see the specter, she only saw the infinite whiteness that spread out in front of her.

When she finally made contact, it was physical rather than visual. Rei heard the indecipherable language that sounded vaguely Japanese grow louder. Then she felt it. In the middle of her back, a bone chilling cold collided with her soft skin. She let out a gasp of surprise. The sub-zero ball seemed to pass straight through her and she felt herself struggling for consciousness until she saw the light pass though her breast. Right where the commander had grabbed her. The feeling of being carried away somewhere pervaded her.

Right before she passed out, she felt hated.

**Shore of LCL**

Hunger. Immense, gnawing hunger was the first thing that Shinji felt as he unstuck his face from the smooth surface of the building. He did not, however, pay it any attention as he looked right over the edge of the fallen building. The LCL waved lazily under him. His last thought visited him like a forgotten New Year resolution.

_She deserves a proper burial. I can at least do that for her. _

Shinji steeled himself for what would inevitably be a disgusting undertaking, but he knew he wouldn't survive long if he didn't try. At least it wasn't water.

Shinji simply walked over the edge of the building and fell feet first into the sea below him. As he opened his eyes he took a deep lungful of the fluid. For some reason, he had been expecting the LCL to be more viscous than it was now. Nevertheless, he been a little scared as falling into a body of liquid that was larger in volume than he was and where he couldn't touch the bottom did not set well with Shinji Ikari.

The smell of blood was replaced though, by something different. Instead of the heady metallic odor, the strange smell of Comet cleanser (something the impromptu housemaid was familiar with) filled his nostrils. When he opened his eyes he found that it was almost as clear as the LCL inside a cockpit that wasn't fully powered. Still, he could make out the sea bed clearly.

He hit the sea floor with a slight thud. Since the LCL had filled his lungs he had no buoyancy and could walk normally, albeit hindered a minute amount by the viscosity of the liquid. By the time Shinji had adjusted to his surroundings, he could already tell that his expedition to find the body of his first murder of another human being would end in failure. He looked around anyway, and made circles in his search around the shadow cast by the building. When he finally pin-pointed the spot where the body would have landed, he found something surprising.

There was nothing that remained of Auska's body. Instead, all he found was a plugsuit, still perfectly contoured to her beautiful body. Shinji reverently took the suit into his arms and walked up the sea-bed until he came out of the sea. The moment he broke the surface he was hunched over with hacking coughs as he drained himself of the LCL he had inhaled. Aside from coming out of his mouth and nose as usual, the fluid also flowed like tears from his eyes for some reason. He fell to his knees. As he coughed and his sphincter and bladder contracted, he felt some of the LCL purge from his body.

Shinji didn't bother to question why this surfacing was so much more upleasant than the first, as his mind was still focused on giving the plugsuit a proper burial. He dug a shallow grave on the sea shore next to Misato's pendant and buried her folded suit in it.

Shinji spilt no tears for the girl. He had none left, and he felt that expressing sorrow for his action might be an affront to her memory. He decided that when the time for mourning came, he would. But for now he simply content to dig her grave. Perhaps Maslow could be blamed for the apathy.

xxx

One of the most intresting chemical properties of LCL is that, dispite any molecular structure to suggest it, LCL will to repel most impurities, which was fortunate for those of project E who were tasked with building the entryplugs of the Evangelions. The filters didn't have to be all that complicated, as the flowing LCL would simply leave the foreign particles behind once met with resistance.

At least that's what was orginally believed. Once the first few tests were run, mostly by submerging animals, it soon became brutally apparent that while inorganic matter would be repelled quite easily, organic matter would not. Organic debris, such as hair, skin cells, mucus and even blood that didn't posses their own AT fields, couldn't maintain their own separate entities and would be absorbed into the LCL (blood, however, could retain some of its properties). This was especially true with any organic material whose basic genetic structure contained the signature 22 autosomal chromosomes of _Homo sapiens_. Soon, the LCL would take on enough of these impurities that the subject would suffocate in its own waste. Even carbon-dioxide posed a hazard.

However, if grouped together in a large enough amount, such as in Terminal Dogma or The Sea, LCL will retain its properties regardless of any debris introduced to the body. The debris will be dissolved or absorbed, and the body of liquid itself seems to have an infinite level of solubility. Yet in theory, if it were to be surrounded by an exponentially larger body of organic matter, the two bodies would immediately find an equilibrium.

Since there was no possible way to pack that much LCL into a 20' by 7' entry plug, another solution had to be found. After much experimentation, it was found that sending a electric current through the LCL nulified those properties to a safe extent, and made it suitable for the combat-level stress that it would have to endure.

Thus, the imprints of Shinji's feat in the sand were soon replaced by LCL drenched footprints along the street. The rest of the fluid began to smell like blood As he walked, Shinji began to wonder why he instinctively believed that he was alone in the world. Not metaphorically, literally. He began calling out to see if anyone was there. The echos and the piles of clothes confirmed his thoughts.

Shinji's stomach eventually took him toward a mall. The recently abandoned food stalls wafted the smells of nourishment toward him. He soon found his way to a wok and went to work. Depressed or not, Shinji was still Shinji, and threrfore his culinary skills were undiminished. So, with the array of tools, ingredients, and equipment of a professional resturant at his hands, said skills were out in full force.

xxx

The smell of eggs frying wafted into Misato's nose, gently rousing her from her sleep.

"What a dream." she yawned.

Nothing unusual, she had dreams where she died all the time. But this one had been different, and trying to remember it was like trying to hold water in cupped hands. Plus, she couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't over. Oh well, nothing an ice cold Yebisu couldn't fix. Probably the eggs that she smelt would help too.

Eggs.

Eggs?

Eggs!

Misato sat straight up, heart pounding. She grabbed the Desert Eagle on the top of her bedside table, and tiptoed down the hallway. As she pulled the bathrobe closer around her, she heard a familiar voice doing a very unfamiliar thing. The voice was that of her ward, Shinji Ikari.

Whistling.

In the year that Misato had taken care of Shinji, she had learned more about, and seen more of boy than any of his previous guardians had of their ward. Still, he sometimes managed to catch her off-guard. This was one of those times. Ikari Shinji didn't whistle.

When did he come back?

When did _I _get back?

Who cares?

She tried to sneak around behind him, looking for a place to hide the gun.

"Good morning Misato-san!" Shinji, happily

Misato froze with one foot still hanging in the air.

_How did he know?_

Before she could turn around; two arms had snaked around her belly, and were squeezing her close. Before she knew what she was doing, she had set the gun aside and was returning the hug.

_This was different_.

"Um, Shinji, are you feeling ok?"

Shinji's face moved from its usual hugging place (buried in Misato's bosoms) to look at the Major. It had a look of amusement.

"Yeah, why?" he replied.

"You're hugging me, and now you're whistling? I'm sorry, but what happened to Shinji; master of gloom, doom, and self-pity?" she asked, bemused.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about old Shinji any more." He said darkly. Then he lightened up. "Besides, promised you I'd change, didn't I?

"And what's with all the surprise at hugging? _You're_ the one who usually suffocates _me_! Misato-chan, are _you_ feeling ok?" he asked, with mock worry.

Misato scratched her head. "I-I don't really know... I just the weirdest dream ever and you know what the funny thing is? I can't even remember what it was about!"

"I've been telling you that all that curry would give you indigestion." He said as he comically magicked a thermometer out of nowhere and stuck in her mouth, and pulled her to a chair. "This is what you get for not listening to Shinji-kun! Oh well, doctor Ikari and nurse Pen-Pen will take care of you!" he said giggling.

_Shinji doesn't giggle. Or does he?_

"I'll put some miso on the stove. Hey, maybe you should stay home from NERV today. Honestly, I don't even know why it's still around... Anyway, just sit tight ok? I'm gonna go take a shower. The soup should be ready in a few minutes, so just help yourself."

As Shinji turned to go to the bathroom, he turned back. "Oh yeah, I-I-um-I put Rei's waffles on the counter over there; so, you know, tell her when she gets here ok?

_Rei's waffles? _

Misato arched an eyebrow in question. A now pink Shinji quickly rushed the rest of the way into the bathroom and shut the door. Misato just sat there, puzzled, the man in her bedroom forgotten.

Sure enough after a few minutes, the door-bell rang. Outside was one Rei Ayanami, dressed in a school uniform and with her portfolio in one hand.

"Good morning, Katsu- Misato-san" She said, bowing. She stood on her tip-toes trying to see past the woman blocking the door-way. "Where is Shinji-kun?" she asked.

_Since when were any of them on first name terms?_

Not that she didn't like it.

Misato took the thermometer out of her mouth. "H-He's in the shower Rei. Um, not to be rude but, how did you find our apartment?"

Rei looked at her strangely.

Misato looked at Rei with even more bewilderment. Rei had stared back with her signature neutral stare. She had never heard Rei utter more than a few words at a time. More than that, Rei was inquiring about someone other than the commander.

"Misato-san, are you feeling unwell?" Rei said putting her hand on the forehead of the Major. The older women answered her with even more confusion, if it were even possible.

"That's the second person to ask me this." she said, shaking her head. "I feel fine. Why?"

"Because, this is perhaps the ninety-second time I have visited Shinji to accompany to him school." She said walking past Misato and letting herself in.

Now, this was getting weird.

She walked over to the cabinet where they kept the glasses and poured a glass of milk and took the waffles from the counter and sat down to eat like it was something she did everyday. Misato shut the door but just stood there looking perplexed.

_Maybe it was all a dream?_

Rei paused and looked at her. "In my opinion; it would be advisable to sit down, especially in your present condition."

Misato sighed softly. "Y-Yeah, I-I think I'll just do that."

As Rei opened her mouth to say something again, she was interrupted by Shinji coming out of the steam shower, clad in only a towel around his waist and surrounded by an aura of steam, like Darth Vader stepping into the Tantive IV. Except not as black, or with asthma.

"Misato-san, has Rei- ohmygod!" he said as slammed the door back closed. He opened it back up a creek and whispered audibly to Misato, "Give me a warning next time!" Misato just shrugged and shook her head. All the while a now pink-faced Rei stared at the place that had been occupied by Shinji's body. She blinked out of her trance and averted her eyes, a faint smile on her face. Shinji darted to his room in a blur.

Just then, they heard footsteps coming from the hallway. Misato froze. She still had completely forgotten about the man upstairs whose identity was still unknown to her.

So when a certain bristly spy walked down, Misato's jaw thawed, and then fell to the floor.

"Morning beautiful," said Ryoji Kaji. "Mmmm, that smells good. Seriously, that kid's got some talent. He is gonna be such a ladies man... Speaking of which, hello there Miss Ayanami, come to walk Shinji to school?"

Rei looked up at him and smiled. "Good morning Inspector Kaji."

No. Fucking. Way.

Misato's mind began to race. Maybe it was all just a dream? But then why couldn't she remember anything else? Ryoji walked up behind her and pecked her on the cheek as he went for the refrigerator. As he was bent over, she heard Rei ask softly, so only she could hear. "Are you happy?"

Misato's head turned back to Rei, yet all she saw was a girl preoccupied with the waffles. "What did you say?" she whispered back.

"Are you happy?" Rei was indeed looking at her, but her mouth was not moving, or rather not making any words, as it was too involved with chewing her breakfast and taking more bites. "Is this not what your heart desires?"

"I-I don't know what your talking about." Misato whispered in reply, or so it seemed. Before she could even articulate the words, she was already being answered by the voice.

"You have been given everything you wished for at the time of your union, why are you not pleased?"

"Union? What are you talking about?" Misato actually had an idea about what the answer was going to be, for some reason she felt it was her place to ask about it either way.

"You have been instrumentalized, become one with humanity, and have reached perfect peace. Why are you not satisfied?"

"He it, the old man actually did it. So Kaji was right. This is third impact." She said in a daze. "So none of this is real, is it?"

"Only you may choose what is real and what is not. Because of you individualistic personality, you have been given the chance to retain yourself. Only those with a true sense of being can retain their sense of _self_ here. All the more reason to be happy, you have found paradise. _Your_ paradise."

As the truth dawned on Misato, so did her anger. This wasn't what she had fought and sacrificed her life for; not some false reality. Revenge had ceased to be her motivator long ago. After that she had fought for those who she loved to be free from fear, to be safe. This wasn't what she had in mind.

"By _self_, do you mean your _mind_?" She asked seething.

"It is the _minds _of man that kept them in darkness."

"Cut the crap first-child!"

"I am not Rei Ayanami." The voice replied, only this time it had taken the form of Kaji. Still the body of Kaji hadn't moved from the refrigerator, nor had the body of Rei stopped eating. "I am the representation of everything you've ever wished for; acceptance... peace... love... in other words, you could say that I'm you." She could almost see the source of the voice smile. "Or at least, the "you" that you've kept hidden."

"If you were me, then you wouldn't keep me here. If you were me, you would let me wake up. If you were me you wouldn't accept this lie. You're not me. You're what I was." said Misato.

"Is that what will make you happy? To go back to a world of hate, of pain and suffering? You have everything here. There will be no war, no death, nothing if you don't want it, and everything that you do."

"If there's anything if learned from this war, it's that no happiness comes without sacrifice. To sacrifice my being, to sacrifice the truth; there is no happiness worth that much." She replied.

"Then you are truly one of Lilith's children." The voice went quiet. Suddenly, Rei stopped in mid-bite, completely stationary. Kaji still hadn't moved from the fridge. Then an earsplitting scream, much like the one she had heard before she was instrumentalized but in reverse as if someone had taped it and played it backwards. As she screwed up her eyes and face against the noise, she fell of her chair and to the ground in the fetal position.

However, where she had expected cold linoleum to hit her, she instead felt warm fluid rush over. Eyes still closed, she felt it rush into her every crevasse and pulse through her body, in time with her rapid heartbeat. The pulsing grew ever more violent, until finally Misato felt her body be racked around like a rag doll every beat of the rhythm. The maelstrom continued until she felt her body smash against something soft and gritty.

**January, 2, 2016**

**Shore of LCL**

The first thing Misato did was to scream. Actually, that was the second. The first thing she did was vomit profusely on the sand beneath her. Then, once she had emptied her body of all fluids, she screamed. Not because she had been reborn, or out of victory, or as a sign of defiance, or anything like that. She screamed because having the equivalent of a 2 liter enema in every hole in your body hurts.

Then she passed out.

When Misato woke up, the first thing she saw was a trail of footprints leading away off the shore and down the street. Misato picked herself up, and stumbled a bit. She was completely disorientated but countless nights of drunkenness had instilled in Misato the ability to walk straight without getting her bearings. Therefore, although the world was spinning, she was still able to follow the trail well enough without falling.

She passed by a post with a cross-pendent on it.

_That's mine._ She thought hazily as she took it down from the post. She was still too dazed to comprehend what that meant.

As she pursued the trail of wet footsteps, she realized that she was stark naked. Even though she could see no one in sight, she began to feel self-conscious. Also, as the trail went further downtown, she began to see piles of clothes just lying in the street. Many cars had crashed into buildings, as they were left in drive on a downhill slope without any driver.

"God, was it that quick?" she muttered to herself

So, she sub-consciously picked out the outfit that best accentuated her feminine features and continued to follow the trail, pausing only at those piles with cell phones, and at one phone booth. Although all the cell phones worked, none of the numbers were answered. As for the phone booth, she was greeted with the message that answered all panicked civilians who'd ever tried to use the system during the frequent crises in the city:

"All normal lines are down due to the special state of emergency."

As she expected, the special NERV lines were dead as well. Misato wandered down the street, following the strange trail of foot prints. Normally she'd be running. But for some reason, she felt no hurry. Then she saw the destination of the foot steps.

"The mall," said Misato, shaking her head. "What a typical civilian reaction. One little crisis and everyone thinks that everything's for free."

Okay, maybe not _little_.

Her annoyance faded when she began to smell the faint aroma of stir-fry from the food court. Someone was cooking something delicious, and to Misato's hungry stomach she could think of nothing better than help whoever was cooking eat. The now eerie shopping music was the only echo to her steps as she walked through the mall. As she got closer to the food-court from which the aroma came, her legs began to move faster.

She finally crossed into the large indoor courtyard, and her nose proved not to lie. In side a Chinese-food stall a figure was bent over the stove, busy with making all kinds of tasty things. Misato looked at her reflection in one of the windows before walking over. She needed to have the "sexy" on full blast so she could get fed and figure out what was going on.

Misato tip-toed over to the bar stools at the stall and sat down. She crossed her legs and placed one elbow on the table-top and held her head in its hand. The perfect pose, straight out of flirting 101.

"Smells good."

The man- or rather boy that was engrossed in his cooking let out a yelp of surprise as he fell to his knees, his hands in the air.

"L-Look, um just take whatever you want, I can make you some food or something, but I have no money."

"Shinji?"

The boy turned around. His expression was unreadable. But his voice held some emotion.

"Misato..."

"Shinji, what happened?"

"Um, do you want something to eat?"

Misato nodded her head. She noticed that he hadn't answered, but she decided to let it drop for now. Shinji served them both some stir-fry, which they ate in utter silence. Only the sound chopsticks hitting the plates could be heard. When they finished, Misato broached the subject again.

"That was marvelous Shinji."

He said nothing, and simply took the plates into the back.

"Shinji? Shinji, come back."

He shuffled back and stood in front of the counter.

"Have a seat. You've worked hard enough." She patted the seat next to him. As he sat down she walked behind the counter and fetched two more drinks.

"I know what you're going to ask me."

Silent tears began to fall from his obscured face.

As Misato placed a motherly hand on his wracking shoulder, Shinji began to cry in earnest.

"I don't want to remember it..." he sobbed.

"Shinji, I need to know what happened. I need to know so I can plan a course of action."

"Misato-san," he said though his tears, "Misato-san, I-I've done t-t-terrible things."

"Well, Shinji-kun, it's time you joined the club." Misato said as she drew him close to her.

AN: Constructive criticism and opinions on whether or not the story is going too slow or if it's too boring will be appreciated.


End file.
